Having Your Cake

Yesterday when we were packing, I asked Noah to come and help me with his toys. He refused, and told me it would be boring. I told him to just come and help me, it will be a piece of cake. He said, "Yeah, a really hard one, that you have to cut with a saw."

More Noah

Noah went to play at his friend's house. When I went to pick him up he told my that he played with a cool puzzle, and could I buy him one, please. I asked him where his friend got it. He said, "On the internet." I said okay, I will asked his mom and find out which website. Noah said to me, "I think you just type www.coolpuzzles.com. I'm sure they sell them there."

You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.

Last week Noah and my nephew, Bennett stayed with me while the rest of the boys stayed with my brother and sister-in-law. I was having a lazy morning, reading in bed, when I overheard this conversation:

Bennett: “What was that noise?” after the furnace had kicked on. “Was it wain?”

Noah: “Do you mean Wayne, my mom’s dad?”

Bennett: “You mean Grandpa?”

Noah: “Yeah.”

Bennett: “No, you know the stuff that falls from the sky?”

Noah: “Oh, you mean wain.”

Funny, funny boys. They were great to have with me for the day. I was highly entertained.

I Feel Five

Last week while driving Chris to basketball, Noah and I had this conversation:

Noah: "I think I'm five now."

Me: "You haven't had your birthday yet, you're still four."

Noah: "I did, I grew, and I'm five."

Me: "Your birthday is after Halloween, after Christmas, after New Year's."

Noah: "I think I'm five. I just feel five."

The Answer Is No!

Noah dared ask this question today:

Can you plug your 110v computer speakers directly into the 220v outlet?

You Can't Always Get What You Want

The other day Marcus was in my room playing the Wii, when Noah came up to me and said, "I usually get what I want, don't I?"

I replied, "Yes, you do. What do you want?"

Noah: "I want to play the Wii, so tell Marcus to get off of it."

Me: "No, you don't always get what you want. Marcus was there first."

Noah: "THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

The Voice

Last Sunday while we were at church Noah was feeling a little bit crazy. He was having a hard time being quiet, and a harder time holding still. He couldn’t stay in our bench and kept going back and forth from our bench to the family behind us. When he wasn’t doing this he was climbing all over the bench. Basically, he was loud and distracting. While I was sitting and trying to listen to the speaker, Noah yelled, “Mom! Listen to me!” I turned to look at him, and he had both of his fingers in his ears. I thought he was trying to plug his ears so he didn’t have to listen to the speaker, or to me telling him to be quiet. Instead he said, “Something is wrong with my ears. I can still hear the voice.” I suppose that when he is misbehaving and deliberately doing what I told him not to do, he can claim that “the voice” told him to do it.

Happy Birthday Noah!

Today is Noah's birthday, he is now four years old. He is the funniest, craziest boy in our family. He asked for a Nintendo DS, which we didn't get for him, because I thought he was too little. So we bought these crazy chairs/hats/pool toys/scoops/step stools for the crazy boy!

We went to dinner at one of his favorite restaurants, La Paulista, and then had chocolate cake and ice cream.

He loves all of his gifts, especially the truck that turns into an ape. And the really big shark, and the other truck, and the Diego stuff...and where's his DS?

Happy Birthday, Noah!

Graffiti Artist 2

The saga continues...

I am going to have to hide all writing instruments. Everyone of them, the pens, pencils, markers, crayons, Sharpies. All. Without exception.

Kevin called me upstairs last night and asked me why I was drawing on the walls. Apparently, when questioned about the drawing, Noah told Kevin that I had done it. I denied it, because clearly I didn't do it. If I drew on the wall it would be colorful, and have a rainbow, with a sun peeking out from behind a cloud. And there would definitely be a unicorn. Or Pegasus.

So I asked Noah who drew on the wall. He told me that it must be Sam. Sam drew on the wall. I pointed out that the size and location of the drawing led me to believe that someone exactly his height had executed the drawing, but he assured me that it was Sam. Or Marcus. But definitely not him.

I asked, "Noah tell me the truth, who drew on the wall?"

He told me, "Sam did."

By this time Kevin and I are both frustrated not so much about the drawing, but about Noah's ability to lie very convincingly to both of his parents.

Then Kevin asked him, "Do you know the what the truth is?"

His response, "Yes."

Kevin: "If I said you were a girl, would that be the truth?"

Noah: "No."

Kevin: "If I said you were a boy, is that the truth?"

Noah: "Yes."

Kevin: "Okay, then who drew on the wall?"

Noah: "Sam. Or Marcus. Or Mom."

Me: "Noah, you drew on the wall, right?"

Noah, rolling his eyes: "Yes."

Kevin: "Who drew on the wall?"

Noah: "Sam."

He is really good at lying, he looks us straight in the eyes, no funny faces, no smiling, he is dead serious. We are in so much trouble. I can just see it--

Me, to sixteen year old Noah: "Noah, who's beer cans are in the garbage?"

Noah: "Sam's. Or Dad's."

Or--

Me, to sixteen year old Noah: "What happened to the car while you were out?

Noah: "You wrecked it. Or Dad. Or Sam."

Scary!

On a more positive note, I'm thinking I will start a business with his artistic talent. I'm going to get T-shirts printed up that say, "Because I was tired of drawing on paper," and then I'm going to have Noah draw on them. Then I'm going to sell them on the Internet for $24.99, plus shipping and handling. Because when he is a famous artist, they will be worth much, much more.

Graffiti Artist

As long as he has been able to hold a pencil, Noah has loved drawing on walls. We have a lovely example on the wall in our house in Salt Lake City, executed in black Sharpie. He has also decorated the floor of our Salt Lake house, and some other areas in a variety of media. He is most adept at drawing in Sharpie, but also has proficiency in ink, pencil, chalk (my personal favorite), and crayon.

Yesterday my maid told me that Noah had drawn on the walls with a pen. I asked Noah, after I found the small masterpieces, why he drew on the walls. Our conversation went as follows:

Me: "Noah, why did you draw on the wall? I just gave you like, ten pieces of paper."

Noah: "Hmm, I was tired of drawing on paper."

Yeah, well guess what Noah? I'm tired of cleaning the walls.

What?!

Yesterday was my birthday. This is Noah's gift to me:

"Mom, you drive me nuts!"

I drive him nuts?

No More Diapers!

Noah is finally potty training. We got our air shipment last week and we now have a little potty, and we are ready to live a life without diapers. Noah is doing a pretty good job. He goes to the bathroom about every fifteen minutes, even more when we are in a public place, and he has had only one accident. Okay, he's had two, but I'm calling the second one an on purpose. He wanted to change into a new pair of underwear every time he went to the bathroom and I told him no, we only change if they are wet or messy. The next thing I knew he had wet his pants, and yes, he changed to his Bob the Builder underwear. Which is what he wanted. He is kind of a brat, a smart (manipulative) brat.

We are going to an estancia this weekend. A woman who works at the embassy and her husband own a ranch (estancia) on about 75 acres of land out in the country. They have guest rooms, horses, and lots of room to play. I am sure it will be fun, there will be horseback riding, the kids can run around like maniacs, and we will see a new part of the country.